APPLICABLE WARNINGS: Definite mentions of Bulimia Nervosa. Like seriously, there is heavy descriptions of someone being caught purging in this chapter. IF YOU FEEL TRIGGERED, DON'T READ. I will put a synopsis at the end. Also, if you are struggling with an eating disorder, please please PLEASE know you are not alone, and there is help. I know I sound like every other stupid site you've probably come across but take it from someone who's been there: It can and it WILL get better. It's not easy, and you have to be willing, but it will. If you are in a crisis right now and need help, call your local emergency number (In the US, it's 911 as far as I am concerned), or, for US readers, the american suicide/emotional crisis number is 1-800-273-8255. For non-US readers, Here is a link to international suicide hotlines. Now then:
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Episode 37: Rock bottom.
Katie walked into the crib, which was seemingly empty. Then she heard something: Someone puking. She walked over to the bathroom door and listened. She knew the breathing anywhere; it was Kendall! She had to hold on to the counter for support. What the HELL was happening here?! She texted Camille frantically. In five minutes, she had everyone heading up to 4J for an intervention. Kendall came out.
"What are you doing here?" he asked.
"I think the bigger question is, what the HELL are you doing puking?" Katie retorted.
"I ate some bad cheese for dinner," Kendall fibbed.
"Liar," Katie said. "Kendall... Tell me the truth. I..."
"I was purging!" He snapped. "I was purging. I binged on the bag of chicken nuggets and then made myself puke them all up because I feel like shit. No, lower than shit. It's my fault that you lost the baby, it's my fault your cousin hated you, it's... it's all my fault!" Kendall was in tears. Katie hugged him, holding on for dear life.
"Kendall none of this is your fault!" Katie said, crying herself. "NONE of it! Why? Why? How could that possibly fix ANY of our problems?! How can you tell me not to hurt myself when you're doing the same thing?! Kendall... this is insane!" Katie was hysterical now. "You're coming with me!"
"Where?!" He asked, still in tears.
"Upstairs!" Katie answered. "March!"
4J.....
When Katie and Kendall walked through the door, Logan, Carlos, James, Camille, and Mrs. Knight were waiting for them.
"Where's little Katy?" Kendall asked, raspy.
"I sent her down to play with Tyler," Mrs. Knight said. "Sit." Kendall sank into a chair, and Katie sat down by his feet.
"....How long has this been going on?" James asked.
"This is the first time since I found out Katie was pregnant," Kendall choked out. "Before that.... Every night after you guys went to bed." Logan's eyes grew huge. "And before that.... Whenever I felt bad." Katie's eyes watered, but she just sat there, slipping her fingers into Kendall's.
"Kendall.... Why? Why would you ever think this was okay?!" Camille asked.
"I don't know!" He tried to shout. "It just... It worked! It made the pain go away!"
"Kendall... This isn't safe," Mrs. Knight said. "We... I'm looking into rehab!"
"Mom-"
"No Kendall! This isn't safe, and if this has been going on for years, you need HELP. More than I can give you! And my decision is FINAL." No one made any noise. Kendall just held his head in his hands, wondering where he went wrong. Katie just... stood there. She wasn't crying, she wasn't emotional, she just... hugged Kendall. That night, Logan was assigned to escort Kendall to the bathroom until further notice. The next few days, Katie, Kendall, and Mrs. Knight spent at the studio, making preparations for Kendall to enter rehab. Katie rarely left his side, and when she did, it was only because she absolutely had to.
THURSDAY.
Kendall was leaving tomorrow for rehab. Logan was sleeping on the sofa so that he and Katie could enjoy their last night together.
"I don't know how I'm going to get by without you," She whispered.
"Same here," He said. "But I swear, when I get back you're going to see a different man."
"Will he still piss on me when I ask?" She wondered.
"And lick you clean," Kendall answered. "May I?"
"Always," Katie said. she stood up, and ripped her clothes off. Kendall only had his boxers on, so he yanked them off, and... well you get the picture. And like always, he licked her clean.
MORNING.
Mrs. Knight walked into the room, and saw the clothes on the floor. She flipped the overhead light on. "Wake up Kendall!" She said. "We're leaving in an hour." She walked out of the room as he sat up. He looked at Katie.
"I don't want you to go," she said. "I know you have to, but... I don't want you to."
"It's just a few months," He said. "Now come on. We both need a shower." Katie smiled at that thought. She pulled on the clothes she had taken off before bed, and followed Kendall to the bathroom.
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FOR THOSE WHO CHOSE TO SKIP: Katie catches Kendall purging, and subsequently forms the fastest intervention ever. It's decided Kendall should go to rehab, and they spend the week getting ready. Sorry it was so dark, but I was in a dark place when I wrote this. It's gonna get happier after our next update, I promise.
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Episode 37: Rock bottom.
Katie walked into the crib, which was seemingly empty. Then she heard something: Someone puking. She walked over to the bathroom door and listened. She knew the breathing anywhere; it was Kendall! She had to hold on to the counter for support. What the HELL was happening here?! She texted Camille frantically. In five minutes, she had everyone heading up to 4J for an intervention. Kendall came out.
"What are you doing here?" he asked.
"I think the bigger question is, what the HELL are you doing puking?" Katie retorted.
"I ate some bad cheese for dinner," Kendall fibbed.
"Liar," Katie said. "Kendall... Tell me the truth. I..."
"I was purging!" He snapped. "I was purging. I binged on the bag of chicken nuggets and then made myself puke them all up because I feel like shit. No, lower than shit. It's my fault that you lost the baby, it's my fault your cousin hated you, it's... it's all my fault!" Kendall was in tears. Katie hugged him, holding on for dear life.
"Kendall none of this is your fault!" Katie said, crying herself. "NONE of it! Why? Why? How could that possibly fix ANY of our problems?! How can you tell me not to hurt myself when you're doing the same thing?! Kendall... this is insane!" Katie was hysterical now. "You're coming with me!"
"Where?!" He asked, still in tears.
"Upstairs!" Katie answered. "March!"
4J.....
When Katie and Kendall walked through the door, Logan, Carlos, James, Camille, and Mrs. Knight were waiting for them.
"Where's little Katy?" Kendall asked, raspy.
"I sent her down to play with Tyler," Mrs. Knight said. "Sit." Kendall sank into a chair, and Katie sat down by his feet.
"....How long has this been going on?" James asked.
"This is the first time since I found out Katie was pregnant," Kendall choked out. "Before that.... Every night after you guys went to bed." Logan's eyes grew huge. "And before that.... Whenever I felt bad." Katie's eyes watered, but she just sat there, slipping her fingers into Kendall's.
"Kendall.... Why? Why would you ever think this was okay?!" Camille asked.
"I don't know!" He tried to shout. "It just... It worked! It made the pain go away!"
"Kendall... This isn't safe," Mrs. Knight said. "We... I'm looking into rehab!"
"Mom-"
"No Kendall! This isn't safe, and if this has been going on for years, you need HELP. More than I can give you! And my decision is FINAL." No one made any noise. Kendall just held his head in his hands, wondering where he went wrong. Katie just... stood there. She wasn't crying, she wasn't emotional, she just... hugged Kendall. That night, Logan was assigned to escort Kendall to the bathroom until further notice. The next few days, Katie, Kendall, and Mrs. Knight spent at the studio, making preparations for Kendall to enter rehab. Katie rarely left his side, and when she did, it was only because she absolutely had to.
THURSDAY.
Kendall was leaving tomorrow for rehab. Logan was sleeping on the sofa so that he and Katie could enjoy their last night together.
"I don't know how I'm going to get by without you," She whispered.
"Same here," He said. "But I swear, when I get back you're going to see a different man."
"Will he still piss on me when I ask?" She wondered.
"And lick you clean," Kendall answered. "May I?"
"Always," Katie said. she stood up, and ripped her clothes off. Kendall only had his boxers on, so he yanked them off, and... well you get the picture. And like always, he licked her clean.
MORNING.
Mrs. Knight walked into the room, and saw the clothes on the floor. She flipped the overhead light on. "Wake up Kendall!" She said. "We're leaving in an hour." She walked out of the room as he sat up. He looked at Katie.
"I don't want you to go," she said. "I know you have to, but... I don't want you to."
"It's just a few months," He said. "Now come on. We both need a shower." Katie smiled at that thought. She pulled on the clothes she had taken off before bed, and followed Kendall to the bathroom.
________________________________________________________
FOR THOSE WHO CHOSE TO SKIP: Katie catches Kendall purging, and subsequently forms the fastest intervention ever. It's decided Kendall should go to rehab, and they spend the week getting ready. Sorry it was so dark, but I was in a dark place when I wrote this. It's gonna get happier after our next update, I promise.
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